IVR Medieval Hell
Today I experienced the joys of my bank’s IVR (Interactive Voice Response) system. I had a simple question about why my email alerts were not working but trying to get through to a real person was, well, like trying to break into a medieval castle. I, the customer, am getting irritated. OK, I’ll cool off with a beer and try again. I am relaxed now and have a completely different perspective on the problem. I am now an army of one trying to penetrate the castle, uh, IVR system. No one was kind enough to lower the drawbridge so I belly-flop into the moat with the dragons, piranhas and alligators (or, was that account numbers, PINs and secret handshakes?) Archers are shooting arrows from the embrasures. Boiling oil is falling from atop the walls. Finally, thanks to persistence and a small dose of alcohol, I reach the portcullis (gate). I am in!Â
But wait, no victory yet. I am greeted by a level one medieval support rep with a “Tude� (bad attitude). I explain my issue with email alerts not working the way I wanted. She brings out her well-worn scroll and trumpet and announces: “All I am telling you is that alerts are not guaranteed to work so I wouldn’t use them if I were you� and repeats this over and over. Hmm, there is no guarantee I will keep my money in your bank either. I keep trying, unsuccessfully, to get a word in. I resist the urge to say “I am the customer. Shut your pie-hole and let me talk!� Instead, I insist on speaking to her supervisor. His approach was to actually fix the problem. Great phone skills, attitude, and follow-up. If it wasn’t for his skilled intervention, I would have switched banks that day.
Message to service providers: IVR systems that don’t allow you to transparently and quickly reach a trained representative are barriers, not enablers, to good customer service. If you are thinking about implementing one of these IVR systems: please don’t.
